Yesterday life caught up to me. In order to keep myself from thinking too much about life, or about what's missing, or just at all, I have kept myself moving at 100+ mph every second. I work a full time job and also managed to complete my MBA degree in 12 months, but somehow that wasn't keeping me busy enough, so I also took on another job, begin planning for my career as a CPA (that brings us to 3 jobs), started volunteering my time with the church finances, and also squeezed in a new diet and workout plan. It still wasn't enough, I was still thinking, I was still sulking in my own self pity (as witnessed in my last post) I needed more activities. So I vowed to get my house clean, go on a budget, make a baby quilt for my friend and her upcoming loved one, then yesterday happened.
Nothing in particular brought me to my break down, I can probably honestly blame it on hormones, but nevertheless, it was a slap in the face. At 8am I began crying, it was a soft cry, just a constant rolling of tears from my eyes with no effort whatsoever. This happened on and off all day. Then as I left to head to one of my many activities, I realized, I had neglected a major part of my life at home. When I finally made it home I hit bottom, I fell to the floor and sobbed. I cried for a good 30 minutes, convulsions and all.
This was my sign to myself, I need to slow down, I need to feel those feelings, I need to have those thoughts, I need to face life headon, not with my head down just passing through. My head hasn't lifted yet, it's still down with passiveness, but soon, yes, soon, I will lift my head and face the day. I will attack life head on...
